“I have to start writing again.”
This thought just came into my mind a few weeks ago during dinner when my friends suddenly encouraged me of writing again. The topic was simply brought about when they shared to me some ideas on what type of online job suits me best. They were all convinced that I should apply for an article writer position. Most of them said it was always like my forte, my passion, as I was always fond of writing poems and short articles during high school. I appreciate those nice compliments especially because I personally heard them from my good old-time friends but then all I could respond was just a sigh.
Both pen and paper are powerful tools in writing but then the foundation would always be knowledge. Yet this has been proven by our late National Hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, who used the pen as his mighty sword during the Spanish era war. Well, it is a good thing though that technology permits us to write even without a pen and paper. But then for me, even though I have all the necessities available for writing, I would still not be able to write something creative without my so-called inspiration. Yes, I need that some sort of divine enlightenment, the innate drive, a boost of sudden determination that may help me accomplish something with diminished difficulty. I used to have bundles of inspiration, that was way back many years as a young teenager. Well, ever since grade school I already liked writing short stories and articles. I may not be the best poet or writer during those times. But at least those years were the times I never got tired with finishing one poem to another neither writing down a bunch of ideas that comes up anytime. All of my finalized original compositions were all written in a hardbound notebook. I was able to share it with some close friends and they have been nice enough to appreciate my creative works. I had also tried participating on few literary contests. And there was one time during my third year, one poem that I wrote was published in the school paper. I was slightly surprised by my teacher and classmates’ reactions. My teacher appreciated my work of effort probably because she was the moderator of the school paper, and did not expect someone aside from the ‘first section class’ would have the guts to submit an article. While some of my classmates, those who were not really close to me, probably did not have any clue that I was writing those kind of stuffs as I was stereotyped as one of the tough hardcore rockers at school. The simple sense of self accomplishment was already enough for me as I have found a certain medium for self expression. A good habit that was able to help me build my confidence.
Unfortunately, I had lost that inspiration for a very long while. After graduating high school, I was caught up with a very busy schedule during college. The medical-related course that I took up had taken a lot of my spare time and energy that I would be too exhausted to even think about writing. I guess the advantage of being a high school student is having a lot of time to spare. There were a few times I was able to update my personal blog but eventually I neglected that one too. A few instances, I tried to hold a pen and a piece paper believing I would be able to write something with sense just like the old times. But as my own critic, I had to admit that I did sucked at that moment. I was not able to write something worth reading. And then came the dark phases of my life. A huge wave of problems on family, finances, school, relationships and the list goes on. So I got discouraged and finally gave up on writing. I just want to save the drama to make the story short. And so that was how I lost my inspiration.
I am very thankful for my friends who have encouraged me in writing again. It would take a long time and require much great effort but at least I know you guys would never stop believing in my talents although I have really doubted much on myself.
Thank you… Abegail, Chenee, Ganessa, Karen, Neil and Lester. I love you guys!
